Agape love is essential in a marriage, just as romantic love is.
Agape love is essential in a marriage, just as romantic love is. While romantic love (eros) is important for attraction and intimacy, it is not enough to sustain a lifelong, godly marriage. A strong marriage requires agape love, which is selfless, unconditional, sacrificial, and rooted in God's love.
Why Agape Love Is Needed in Marriage
1. God’s Love as the Foundation – Ephesians 5:25 commands husbands to "love your wives as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her." This is agape love, meaning a husband must love his wife selflessly, patiently, and sacrificially, just as Christ loved the church.
2. Unconditional Commitment – Romantic love can fade during difficult times, but agape love remains steadfast. It chooses to love even when emotions fluctuate, ensuring that the marriage endures challenges, misunderstandings, and hardships.
3. Selflessness Over Selfishness – Agape love puts the needs of one’s spouse before personal desires. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 describes agape love as patient, kind, not self-seeking, not easily angered, and enduring all things. This love prevents selfishness from destroying the relationship.
4. Forgiveness and Grace – Every marriage will have disagreements, but agape love ensures forgiveness rather than resentment. Colossians 3:13 teaches, "bearing with one another, and forgiving one another... even as Christ forgave you." This love helps spouses to forgive and extend grace, just as God does for us.
5. Spiritual Growth Together – Agape love seeks the highest good for one’s spouse, including their spiritual well-being. A godly husband and wife pray for each other, encourage each other in faith, and work together to strengthen their relationship with God.
Balancing Agape and Romantic Love
Agape love does not replace romantic love but strengthens it. When a husband and wife are committed to loving each other unconditionally, their romantic love grows deeper and more meaningful.
A marriage based only on romantic feelings is unstable because emotions change. But when romantic love is built on the foundation of agape love, the marriage remains strong through every season of life.
Conclusion
A husband and wife absolutely need agape love in their relationship. Romantic love alone is not enough to sustain a lasting marriage. Agape love is what keeps them committed, patient, forgiving, and selfless, making their marriage a reflection of God’s love. Agape love is selfless, unconditional, and sacrificial love that seeks the highest good for others, regardless of feelings or circumstances.